They say at secondary school it is your time to learn and the place where you need to be, but in all honesty, just like the rest of the world, school is about the social hierarchy of things. You get all the popular group then you get the semi-popular group who are sort of with the populars but not really, and then you get the geeks. There are probably more geeks than anything else in a school because, despite the way that films make it seem, you can really cross section groups. 

When you get into the popular group and everything is fine and perfect, you don’t quite realise what’s going on. In some ways it’s like you’re in a dream, the perfect dream world so you cant see whats really happening. Then the bitching starts, and at first you’re the one joining in so its all cool. But then, you start hearing the rumours. That’s when you get sad.

I suppose when you first hear them, that’s the most distressing point of it all. But then you start to realise that if they’re really saying shit about you like that, then are they really worth it?

Now, I think that I should just stick with my good friends, the ones that I love, and maybe sometimes hang out with the ‘in’ crowd. 

It just seems so much more practical.

I like the duck. I love Jackson Rathbone. Rainbows are cool. And I absolutely love Dita Von Teese.

I think that people get new starts, new chances and new beginnings every day. Whether they’re getting off their report card or they’re moving house, it’s a fresh start. Some people say that a fresh start is bad. Some people say it’s good. For me I’d have to say that it depends on the circumstance. I mean, if I were in a school that I loved, with friends that I loved and an area that made me happy, and then all of a sudden my Mum says: ‘Hey, do you want to move to California and live on the beach?’ then sure I would hate every stinking moment of it while I was packing right up to the point where I would leave. But then, maybe once I get there it would be different. Maybe I’d find new friends; keep the old and stay with the new. Have it both ways. Maybe I could find an equally good school. Maybe I could find a great area. So I think it definitely depends on the circumstance. 

Mind you, if it was me and my Mum really did want me to move I would refuse point blank and storm off in a huff.

I think that a new chance in something good though. Like if you got in trouble and you wanted to just let it go but the teachers went on and on and on and on about it, all you’d want is a fresh start and to start from the beginning. Learn from the mistake.

Well not learn from the mistake and never do it again, just shut your mouth so you don’t get any more trouble, and learn to get in trouble with the right people who won’t snitch on you.

Anyway, you learn from the mistake and move on. For example, today I had a massive argument with my teacher about how all the teachers at my school are institutionalized. God They get on my nerves. But it’s true; Teachers always institutionalize and it gets on my bloody nerves. But I don’t want a detention so I’m hoping for another chance- I’ll probably have another argument with him like, next week or something.

An new beginning is different though. It’s like… the end of a chapter and the start of a new one… like finishing your favourite book and then having to read a different one. It doesn’t quite satisfy if the second book isn’t as good as the first.

Sometimes a new beginning is like when someone dies. Like, for example if your grandad died and then you had to try and move on. There’s so much to work through emotionally as well as trying to cope with the funeral. First you have to get over the tears and the horribleness of what has just happened, then you have to make sure that your family are okay and support them. It’s horrible. 

But once all of that is over, you feel stronger. It brings you closer together with your family; I’m not saying it’s a good thing, a loved one dying. Just that if it happens then at least you come out of the other and better then you were at the start.

So a new start. It can be good or bad. Just make sure that you start it in the best possible way and you will have a good experience. 

Some people think that I’m different because I make myself someone I’m not. Well, that, that right there is a fat load of bullshit. I am who I am because that’s how I made myself. Life isn’t always about following friends. I don’t care how my friends dress; I don’t care what music they listen to. I follow my own trends. To me, my life is unique, and anyone who thinks differently. Well. I’d like to see you say that to my face. Actually I’d be very proud of you if you did: Don’t be sacred of me. I don’t bite… Very much. ;)

So, basically, I just dyed my hair red. Woohoo. I think it looks awesome, and some people may disagree with that, but d’you know what? I don’t give a crap. It’s my life, my hair, my rules. :D

Anyone who knows me will know my personality: Hardworking, argumentative… but most of all I stand up for my rights. So, if you’re one of those people who think that I don’t stand out from the crowd because I follow people, or if you think I do, it’s because you think it’s for the wrong reasons, then you think wrong. I am not a sheep. I don’t go baa. So. That is that. >.<  I have a right to be able to think that. Then again, you have the right to think that I’m wrong. Man, if only I had the right to PUNCH YOU! ;-)

But hey, that’s just me. :D

Okay, so if you’re looking at this blog, and you’re think… who the hell is she… well that might not happen, but anyway, if you’re thinking that, I’m going to tell you.

My name is Rea Jennifer Mina Snape. I’m a Londoner and proud.

I think what really makes me me is my friends and family. 

Ciara Kehsin Alex and Yasmin. These guys are my life at the moment. We have such laughs and we’re always planning ahead, never looking back. Okay, history and shit happens, but I think that we should move forward not backwards. Some friends leave and they never come back. Yeah, that’s defo happened to me. This one guy.. that isn’t really important. But the point is, some people you will NEVER ever be friends with again (if you’re reading this then know your place :D) <- (patronising ‘D’ face as you would call it.) and Ciara Alex Keshin and Yasmin, I will always love you guys no matter what now. <3 <3 <3 

For some people there’s always this one guy and love and all that. Even if I had fallen in love, I don’t think that I would do anything about it, because love isn’t necessarily loving someone in a love ‘love’ kind of way, it’s about caring about someone so deeply that you would do anything to any extent. I also think that there are many different kinds of love, love where you love your family, love where you love your friends (Like I love Keshin Yasmin Alex and Ciara) and love where your in love. If I was ever lucky enough to love someone in the ‘in love’ kind of way, then I would never let go. 

I know what you’re probably thinking. What the f*** is this !13! year old talking about? Love? She thirteen god damn it?! But I think that you can be any age to fall in love. Look at all these young people falling in love at eighteen and getting married in college and university, and then look at the lonely old people who get married at seventy? The truth: Love can happen anywhere, any time to any extent and to any person. I’ve known people my own age to fall in love and for some of them, it’s been so hard of them to fall out of it that they can’t fit straight back into their old lives any more. I think it would definitely be hard, trying to fall out of love that is. You live to love and laugh. Yeah, cheesy expression, but I think that that is the true meaning of life. To get every where you want to in life, no matter how high your ambitions, no matter how low your standards; do what you want to do and live a life that you’re happy to call your own. 

Education; For me my education is of high importance. You’re probably thinking, well she probably wants to be someone special person who requires high standards in education. But to be honest, I want to be an actress. Not a glossy-magazine-front-cover-Angelina-Jolie kind of actress, but an Actress in plays and West end musicals. My life is singing and acting. And I know I need high grades to accomplish that, but I think an all round good education is what I want. Not just a GCSE in acting and singing. I want to have a GCSE and an A level and a degree in as many subjects as possible, because I want to die one day, knowing that I’ve learnt and accomplished everything I have ever wanted to.

So, your probably thinking, this girl must be smart, she wants to get all these GCSE’s, she must be sooo clever. To be honest, what I have, whether it’s clever or dumb, is entirely your own opinion. I know what I can and can’t do. Whether I’m clever or smart doesn’t matter to me, because I want to achieve everything to my full potential, whether that’s a C for trying my best or an A. As long as I’ve tried as hard as I possibly could, I don’t care about the results.

^Okay that was a lie, I really do care what I get. I would love to get A*’s in every subject, but come on, let’s face it. Will that ever happen? I mean if I really really tried, then maybe. But you know, that’s a lot of effort to put in.

Another thing about me is I’m very argumentative. I wouldn’t be the one to say, ‘Okay you’re right’ unless the person I’m having the argument is my best friend (Yasmin- We have funny little arguments all the time. She knows I’m lying when I say she’s right, but she’s like me: She likes to be told she’s right, whether right or not.) I love debates, because in my eyes, they’re just arguments that teachers are letting you have. A lawyer has always been one of the things I’ve been told to become, and I’ve even considered it before, but I know where my dreams lie.

I have a relatively big family- In the sense of my Mum Dad and siblings anyway- I have three sisters and a Mum and Dad. Teri- youngest (still older than me- I’m the baby ;)) Then Emma, second oldest, then Martina. Oldest. Me Teri and Emma live with our Mum on the weekdays and Dad on the weekend. Martina lives in Brighton, as she goes to University there, with her boyfriend Martin. In many ways, Martin’s kind of like a big brother as well as three sisters. Poor Martin and my Dad- They’re always so surrounded by girls. :D

I love my family very much, as they mean the world to me. I tell Teri basically everything, but because of my short temper, arguments aren’t rare in my house.

So that basically just sums me up in about… what 10 paragraphs? So yeah, that’s me in case you were wandering. 

Define; Change.

Change is something in your life that shifts into something else. For example: A friend, leaving. 

In many ways, that seems like torture. Your best friend. The one person in your life that you know you can tell anything to. That you know will keep every secret you will ever tell. The one person that you know will never leave you.

And then they do.

They leave and they never talk to you again.  They leave and they never even utter a word about your existence, except to those who don’t know you. Except to those whom you hate. Those are the people you don’t want to know about your life. The people that will spread every secret, that will tarnish every memory. They turn and they walk away, leaving your life eternally scathed.

So what would you do if it was just you, on your own, no one else in your life? If it was just a single status of imperfection. Sure, you’d live, you’d learn, you’d grow, but life would never truly be the same every again. You wouldn’t be able to joke the way you used to. You wouldn’t be able go out and have fun the way you used to. Everyday would be a repeat of the day before, with minor changes that seem like major ones to those around you. 

The worst thing about them leaving, is knowing that it will never be the same friendship between you ever again. In some rare circumstances, you will just fix. Everything once thought of, everything that once tormented you every day of your life, just vanishes and you are fixed. But in other circumstances you know that friendship is out of the question and that you will never truly ever be true friends again.

So if I were to die tomorrow (sorry if this makes me sound suicidal, it is only a mere hypothetical circumstance) would you feel anything? Would you mourn over your ex-best friend? I used to wander that every day, whether you’d miss me. I’d miss you. Every second of every day I would wander what I could have done to prevent you from dying. But of course, this is a hypothetical case, and you aren’t dead. I would never wish of anyone to ever die.

So… friendship. Is it really worth it if the so called friend just turns away and leaves you there to wallow in self pity?

I answer my self; yes, yes it is worth it. Because no matter what the experience is, at least you’ve lived it and learnt the mistake.